Since Everything
by Reta McClain
Summary: Waking up after killing the Führer is a confusing experience. Royai, oneshot


**Title: **Since Everything  
**Rating:** K  
**Pairing:** Royai (duh)  
**Words: **1 506  
**Summary:** Roy wakes up.  
**Setting (time-line):** This takes place after the and is a companion piece to _Sinner's Path_ (link in my profile). This takes place around the same time as the beginning of first chapter _Awakenings_.

In both of these fics, I'm mixing some stuff from manga into them. Like characters and background information. In this one, you notice it when talking about Ishval.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own (but damn if I didn't want to!)

**Author's Note:** Just a quick fic I wrote, not too logical story but this was the best I could come up with.

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When he had first woken up, he had been confused. Oh yes, he recognized the ceiling above him but that wasn't what was unsetling. It was something else and he had trouble to figure out what it was. He let his hands wander a little. '_Oh, I shouldn't have done that'_, he thought with a hiss between his teeth. Moving _hurt_. Not exactly new thing as he had been in pain before but he couldn't remember _why_ he was in pain in the first place. Was it something he had done? His head was dizzy and he couldn't really think straight._ 'Am I drugged?'_ he wondered for a brief second before more than familiar voice brought him out of his thoughts.

"You're awake, R-, I mean... Brigadier General", the voice hesitated before his name and then switched it to his rank.

He shut his eyes tiredly and said: "What happened, Lieutenant?" his throat was dry. Apparently he hadn't used it for some time.

"You... you were shot, sir", the Lieutenant hesitated again. What was with the hesitation? She normally didn't think twice what to say...

He opened his eyes, only to be met by his right hand man's – woman's – serious eyes. He knew those eyes well, they had a reddish hue in them... He blinked. Something wasn't right. Her face seemed... off... somehow. Maybe it was the hair? No, he had seen her with her hair down before and it was nothing spectacular if one was ready to ignore how sunlight danced in long locks... The lack of uniform? Probably not. He had seen that too, last time was when...

"Lieutenant?" he croaked out. "How, when...?" so many questions, so few answers. Maybe she would enlighten him.

She hesitated and sat down on to the chair beside the bed he was resting in. She hadn't asked if he wanted to sit up. He felt shot of annoyance race through his veins before he remembered that even moving his mere hand had hurt. He didn't want to begin imagine what it was like to sit up. "After you killed the Führer, sir, you came out, carrying his son on your arms, I assume as I found him near you", she hesitated again. "I was hurrying towards the mansion to stop Lieutenant Colonel Archer from..." she took a deep breath. "killing you", her voice was choked and he felt guilt wrap around his heart like a quilt around a toddler. She was taking calming breaths.

"Go on, Riza", he said softly.

She looked up at the use of her first name, eyes wide. He could see her fists ball in her lap. She was wearing a dress, he noted absent-mindedly. She shut her eyes momentarily. He figured she was composing herself.

"He didn't kill you", she said slowly.

He raised his eyebrow and smirked. "I figured that much."

She looked at him badly and he decided that it wasn't wise to play around Riza when she was in that mood. He would probably still have his family jewels if he kept quiet.

"He -", she bit her lip. He frowned. Since when was Riza Hawkeye this nervous? "he shot you and... you lost your eye, sir."

She looked up and saw what she had expected to see. A horrified expression marred her Commanding Officer's face as he stared her. She felt horrible for telling him this. He had always been worried about his looks in some level and now they were destroyed. There was only scarred skin and a empty eye socket on the left side of his face. The scar was ugly, a lot uglier than the one Scar had had. Scar had still had some elegance left on his face while Roy's scar made his face look deformed. She was also at fault that his face was now how it was. She hadn't been there on time. She hadn't saved him even though she had manged to kill Archer afterwards. It was still her fault that Roy's beautiful face was now scarred. She looked down, she didn't want to meet his eye.

The choked hiss of pain made her look up at Roy. Riza's eyes widened slightly. "Sir!" she cried out and sprang to her feet. Roy had raised his hand with great effort up to his face. Now he new what had been off, he hadn't seen anything but black on his left side. He felt his hand on his face and his fingertips ran along the scar. It was ragged, like the bullet had been zig zagging and obly graced him badly. He felt Riza's hand on his and opened his eye to look at her. She wore a worried expression and there was desperation and guilt in her normally so unfeeling eyes. He felt warm at that. She cared about him and wasn't following him just because of the promise they had made years ago.

He didn't resist as she took his hand down from his face. It wouldn't be any use so why bother? But instead of letting of his hand she hold it loosely in her own. Her hands were small and galloused from the use of gun. No woman's hand should be galloused by that reason. Women were too beautiful and delicate to use guns, tools that are used to kill people. Too precious. Especially Riza.

He gripped the hand gently in his own and was delightened to notice that her other hand moved there. Slowly and hesitantly but moved nonetheless. She was holding his hand in both of hers. His hand wasn't large like the one of Armstrong but it was still big and manly compared to hers. Her fingertips moved over his, curiously. They stopped at his right thumb and index finger. They were galloused from snapping and the use of Flame Alchemy. She ran her fingers over them slowly.

He let her as she was technically the one who had taught him to use this particular branch of alchemy. Without the tattoo on her back, her father's research, he would have never learned to conjure flames with the snap of his fingers, he would never have been a state alchemist and he would probably never have met her again in Ishval.

"It's been so long", she said softly.

"Since what?" he asked, confused. He understood women fairly well but somehow Riza managed always to be a mystery to him, no matter how hard he studied her.

She smiled morbidly. "Since... everything."

He cocked his head to the side. Now she was talking in riddles. There was no woman who couldn't talk riddles when they wanted to.

She wasn't looking at him anymore, Roy didn't bother to be annpyed by this as she was a free woman and she was free to look him if she wanted... free to leave the Military if it came to that. Her voice was soft as she spoke, looking at a small bluebird, sitting outside his window. "Since this world was created, since this country was formed, since we were born, since we met for the first time, since you transmuted my dress into an umbrella, since I threw a stone at you, since Dad died, since I taught you Flame Alchemy, since we joined the Military, since Ishval, since... everything."

She turned to look at him. "Everything is so far away in the past", she looked lost. "Is there anything in the future anymore?"

"There is always something, Riza", he said softly.

"But, there is nothing anymore, just past", her voice was quiet.

"But everything, even past, has a meaning."

She had smiled at him back then.

¤¤¤

When Brigadier General Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, returned to the Military, many people were shocked to see him. How dare he to show his face at Headquarters after killing the Führer? Many of them wondered the eye patch that covered his left eye, similarly to the beforementioned Führer. Mustang looked tired as he returned, leaning against a cane as he limbed up the steps, and he was soon buried under work load that started after Reole had disappeared into a crimson light. He had been put in charge of trying to find the Fullmetal Alchemist, who had gone missing soon afterwards. No one knew what had happened to the golden haired youth but Mustang was working on finding him. The Elric was his subordinate, after all. But the Brigadier General wasn't working alone as he had his unit to support him from those who held a grudge against him, to support him at finding their adoptive little brother.

When the Fullmetal Alchemist was declared dead, he refused to believe it.

"But it's been so long since we have seen him", Riza had reasoned with him.

He had looked at her and said simply. "Do you think I can abandon him after everything? I can't abandon you either for the same reason."

She had looked confused for a moment before smiling at him. "Since everything has a meaning, huh?"

He had smiled and kissed her.

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**A/N: **There it is. BTW, this was first piece of Royai I ever wrote O.o

And _please_ do click that button with 'Go' in it and tell me what you think.


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